As the saying goes, "the more things change, the more they stay the same" and that is a saying that seems to strike true to someone like me who has no self confidence. Things have been falling perfectly in place for me lately. I have a great mate who I am engaged to, I have some great friends I feel I can confide in for the first real time in my life, but then things come along and shatter the fragile confidence I've built up. It's not like this is the first time this has happened, it a pretty regular occurence with me, kind of like how the universe sees it fit to destroy my happiness when I an truely happy, kind of like Angel from Buffy only not as emo and undead. I guess what it all comes down to is that the question becomes how do you build yourself up, how do you gain confidence, if you don't have any to begin with? I always look for others approval, so much to the point my ex says its like trying to dig for a compliment or get an ego boost, and maybe I am but I am just looking for validation that I am doing things right, that I am not screwing things up. As for this entry, I don't really know why I am writing it, or even know if any feedback is necessary on it, but I am writing it just the same, to put my feelings and thoughts out of my mind and into something more concrete like words.
