I feel like the "bad" experiences that lead people to choose an opposite extreme are (at least in the case of women I have known in this situation) more typically traumatic instead of just the usual drama, in which case it is totally understandable. The usual bad is not usually bad enough to be quite a deterrent to sexual attraction, or to change your basic instinctual preference for one or the other or both
I'm not in agreement with the whole domain over everything mentality, and I don't exactly see how it would apply to us vicariously sucking off the inborn needs of all of our minions as it were... That said, I do believe that we posess a concious and an unconcious brain and it is the unconcious (animal) brain that controls our NEEDS vs. our WANTS which are controlled by the concious brain. It is well documented that the animal brain can get confused pretty easily as to what it thinks of as a need (addiction to a substance or behavior - such as compulsive lying or spending - are common examples). So true NEEDS : air, water, food, shelter. Reproduction ceased being a NEED when we took over the world. True there is a serious WANT to couple, but the actual instinct to make babies as a whole has been removed from our subcouncious which is why so many women are able to put off having children for so long or forever despite the ability to reproduce around the age of 12. If this were truly a NEED and was hardwired, most high school freshmen girls would have at least one in the oven. This is not the case, obviously, and many women don't even like children or want them at all which is the best example I have for reproduction not being a NEED. I am not male. I can not speak for the reproductive drive of young men, but the thought occurs that considering that most men I know and have known have not had any major hangups taking care of these drives for themselves it would seem to indicate that while the want is there for release, it no more correlates to a need to actually make offspring than it does for women. Given all of these things I am still a firm believer in that we ultimately like who we are comfortable liking, we couple with the same sex because it feels right, or we couple with the opposite sex because it feels right. This could also have to do with a higher mental capacity than many other animals considering that we are not the only species who participates in non-reproductive acts with the same and opposite sex and the other two notable ones are up there on the intelligence scale - bonobo chimps and dolphins... heck dolphins are basically pansexual. On the theory that our "dominion" causes us to share with those we hold dominion over then that gives us carte blanche to sleep around, go to crazy lengths to please our potential mates, literally consume our partners post coitus, sleep with those of the same gender, and heck while we're at it lets sleep wth pretty much anything that moves and touches us in that special place... Obviously this is nonsense, but it also goes to show that you can find proof of pretty much whatever you are looking to argue if you just sit down and ramble it out... sorry for the long windedness, it just kinda took off after I got going.